Sunday, June 20, 2010

Just when you think New Yorkers have no moral fortitude...

you experience New Yorkers at their very best. It was a Sunday morning of gym and errands which brought me to my local Food Emporium to pick up yet another 10 lb bag of litter, to be lugged back home in what has turned out to be a very hot and sticky summer day in NYC. While I waited in the direct sun to cross the street I happened to turn back to see the delivery guy that managed to make the light crossing in the opposite direction, younger and faster than I apparently, hoisting up an elderly gentlemen that apparently fell. I grabbed my weighty bag of litter from the street and ran over to help. All in the blink of an eye about 4 other New Yorkers came over to help. One gentleman got behind the fallen man and the delivery guy pulled from the front and got him back on his feet.

I collected his grocery bags, hearing aid and triwheeled walker from the street. My self and the gentlemen made sure all the moving parts actually moved, a 3rd person got the walker to him and we made sure that he could stand. All was OK , I grabbed the grocery bags and the "gentleman" grabbed the old man and the walker and we proceeded to walk him home.

While we were walking home the "gentleman" found out that the elderly man was 97 years old lives alone, and just lost his wife of 72 years 2 years ago. The elderly man said that he had no complaints life has been good to him. This elderly man was the nicest person I have met, he was happy, glad that we could help him, chatting away to us as his elbow and knee were bleeding from the wounds he sustained from 72nd st and that damn subway (aka the new T Line) that they are building which is reeked havoc all up and down 2nd Ave. Based on the amount of blood from these scrapes I would say coumadin or some other blood thinner was to blame.

As I approached the man's apartment building first with the rather heavy parcels I asked the door man and front desk man if they had a 97 year old tenant on the 15th floor? They said they did and I advised that he had fallen and before I could say that he was coming in behind me with the gentlemen that helped, the 2 doormen plus the maintenance guy came running to help! The gentleman passed the elderly man off to the doormen, I told them that we needed to clean and bandage the wounds which another guy went to grab the first aide kit. Another guy, at this point they were coming out of the woodwork, called the man's son to let him know he fell. I recommend that they get him upstairs to his apartment get him in fresh clothes some water and put him to bed to rest than check in on him in an hour. At that point they shooed me away and buzzed around him like bees.

I always think about growing old in NYC and how lonely this big city can be and how really lonely it must be when you are old and can't get around and everyone is running past you and sometimes over you because you move so slow. That the simple chore of going to the market is no longer a simple chore. But the really cool thing about NYC is that you are never alone. New Yorkers are very respectful of one anothers privacy. Living in such close proximity it is a way to protect ones personal space. However we are all very watchful of one another and not in that creepy suspicious way but in that, I see you every day at the same time so I may smile or nod recognition and I got your back. If you fall in the street and I am there, be sure to know that I will make sure you are OK and/or call for an ambulance if necessary. I will make sure you are not alone.

I will be checking in on my elderly new friend tomorrow. As I shook his hand to say goodbye he told me that if I ever fall in the street that he hoped he would be close by so he could help me!
That is the sweetest and most charming thing a man has ever said to me :-)

40 Single in the City

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Date!

Can I get a 2010 do-over???? I just want to go back to January 1 and start over.

OK with that said enough of the pity party, I have it easy, I have my health, a place to live, food and a little money to hang on a little longer, and MOST of the time a really good attitude.

Back to the date, those of you who have been following I had a date on Sunday night to see the movie Robin Hood. This is the guy that picked me up on 1st Ave on my birthday. Definitely NOT a birthday present! This guy is not particularly good looking, likes to talk a lot, mostly about himself. Wanted to know if I told my "girlfriends" about him picking me up on 1st Ave, and how unique it was and that "I bet you never got picked up walking down the street." Does that include the people I actually talked back with or all the random men in the past 6 years since I moved back to the city that have hit on me??? Oh I would say about 15-20. I only thought that, I did not say that, even though many of you out there are reading this wondering if I put the filters on that day. (Those readers that do not know me, I have limited filtering ability, what is on my mind is usually out my mouth but I have been working on that). I did not want to completely stomp on his masculinity. The man pretty much spoke none stop about himself and his business and contradicted many of the things he said to me during the "pick up". All of that said, he was just another insecure person trying to connect with someone in a city of 8 million. Or so I thought, than as I got out of the cab, and he was still sitting in the cab getting change of his $100 bill, who pays a cab driver with $100 bill?? He looked me up and down 2x. Apparently he didn't think I noticed. So much for a guy trying to make a connection he was trying to make a booty call.

At that point I thought how tacky of this lawyer/equity firm owner who is 15 years my senior to give me the twice over. I was discusted at that point, kept my bubbly personality in tact and thanked him for the movie and that I had fun, at which point gave him a peck on the cheek and went into my building. I guess he got that there was not connection as I sent him a thank you email on Tuesday saying I had fun with no mention of wanting to get together again.

Bravo to him for picking up a woman on the streets of Manhattan as I am sure I am not the only one but it does show some initiative. However not being a gentlemen gets him no points at all. Just another creepy old guy.

End of the story...Robin Hood was a kick ass movie and I would see it again it was so good. Damn that Russel Crowe still has it.

40 Single in the City

Monday, June 14, 2010

There are no numbers after 39....

was the punch line of a birthday card with a 1950's little girl asking her mom what comes after 39?
Since that card the above has been my motto when it comes to birthdays. As you can guess I just had a birthday. Birthdays use to be fun although coming from a family that really did not make any effort to recognize ones birthday I did find it to be a bit of let down. But at 40+ years of age I still have expectations that my friends and family will in fact remember my birthday by sending cards, emails, phone calls etc... Nothing fancy just "happy birthday and enjoy the day". With that said, and a bit of a disappointment on my part of not many people remembering my birthday I would like to take the time to lend a helping hand in regards to forgetting peoples birthdays. The reason for this helpful hand, everyone I know becomes that 7 year old kid again when they see all those envelops in the mail just for them. That so many people remembered them on their birthdays. It is a REALLY big deal for most people whether they admit it or not.

Over the past 3 years I have made a HUGE effort to remember peoples birthdays as I realized I cannot ask people to remember my birthday if I don't remember theirs. So what have I done to make the job of getting cards and phone calls out on time??? Well, I use the electronic calendar and my contacts list. I make it a point to find out peoples birthdays and put it in my contacts "notes" and then IMMEDIATELY put it on to my electronic calendar with a yearly recurrence and a 1 week prior reminder. This way when I open my outlook or my blackberry everyday, a week prior to the birth date, a reminder comes up, I buy the card that day and put it in the mail either that day or 4 days prior to the birthday. I usually let the first b/day of that month launch the balance of the cards I will need that month and do the purchasing all a the same time. Is this hard? NO. Does this take a little thought? YES. Does it tap into some minor organizational skills? YES.

So get your shit together people and make this the one thing you do this month! update all birthdays in your e-calendars and get on top of this. There are no excuses for this not to happen. It is an inexpensive and easy way to make the people in your life feel special and cared for. It is not the big things in life that matter it is the little everyday reminders that each human being is important.

Now after my tirade on thoughtlessness, and action plan to problem solve it. Did I mention I am a problem solver by nature? Yeah, if the parents were a little attentive I would be an engineer instead of an out work fashionist! What did I do for my birthday? Based on the age I just turned, yes yes I know "there are no numbers after 39..." and not having a job or even an interview on the calendar I decided it would be nice to just have dinner with a very good friend of mine. This unfortunately got canceled the day of my birthday due to a work crisis on his part, well obviously not on mine ;-).

Plan B, as there is always a plan B, (remember problem solver by nature) I went to a small bistro to have a birthday martini, Grey Goose extra dry with 3 olives, why this particular bistro? Well they make a kick ass martini and I am very particular about my martini's as you can tell. Well after having my martini and reading about Sharon Stone, albeit she does come across as a little crazy but smoking hot and she is over 50, my hero. I left the bistro and walked home. Now those that know me know I am not a stroller, I walk hard and usually fast but I have to say since not having a job I have learned to slow down a lot. As I was trying to pass this man on a cell phone, (what else is new, goes back to that etiquette point above), he gets off his phone and starts chatting. Ok I try to be nice to strangers, and chat back. He is walking in the same direction, after a few blocks asks if I want to get a drink with him, I said yes under the guise that he had some connections with equity companies that work in my industry. Anyway had a drink he was very talkative and about 15 years older than me, seems to be used to chatting up women where ever he can as he was very comfortable and it seemed as if he covered all his points in all of about 20 mins at which point I said I was going home and he asked me to a movie. Hmmmm what to do, what most woman would, yes of course I will go to a movie. Where I live movies cost $13 and I have no job and a free movie is a free movie. Yes my standards have changed considerably in the last 8 months. So we made a plan to go to the movies.

Stay tuned tomorrow for how the movie this guy, Yikes!

40 Single in the City.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Is it wrong to want a martini at 3.30 in the afternoon???

Let me rephrase that, as one of my very dear mentor’s would say that “wrong” is a judgment word. So is it socially acceptable for a single 40+ year old woman to be thinking of a martini at 3.30 in the afternnon??

One would have to say yes if said female is unemployed and technically has been for almost 2 years! There I have said it. Put it out there to the cyberworld that I have been unemployed for 2 years on May 15th. Not something I am proud of but also not something I am completely ashamed of. It was unexpected and if I had the crystal ball at the time of making this leap of faith I would not have jumped. Unemployment does have it’s perks. Granted not many, but some.

1. You can have a vodka martini at 3.30 in the afternoon on a Monday or any other day for that matter. There is the risk of addiction if one is not careful with this perk.

2. Waking up late, no one to report to accept my 3 cats which do keep me on a schedule as one in particular starts meowing at 7am. He apparently is the cat that will keep me in check. OR he will be mittens one of these days.

3. Going to the gym when no one else is there. In NYC we all know what a treat that is.

4. If I don’t want to do something I don’t have to do it.

5. Not sitting in meetings from 8.30 am – 6.30pm and then going to your desk to do your work. Can't say I miss that, Well actually I can, I do miss some of the meetings certainly no reason to have them all day long. That just speaks to poor communication flow.

6. Stress levels are actually manageable, see perk 1 for how that is accomplished.

7. Being able to enjoy 2 years of gorgeous days wandering Central Park or riding my bicycle all over Manhattan. (I recommend staying to the south of the island, the north has way to many “hills” and I use that term loosely as they are small mountains to me)

8. Doing more free things about town as you have the time to find them on line and no source of income to do otherwise.

9. Being able to read the newspaper. That is a good one but you have to stay away from the articles on the economy. Otherwise one might fancy themselves jumping out their living room window. Not sure if 6 floors up would really do lethal damage. With my luck would end up in the hospital and can’t afford that without the job. Vicious cycle this employment thing.

Mom/Dad it looks like junior may have to come home.
Hmm can anyone out there tell me if 6 floors can be lethal if you are landing on cement?? You always need an out clause….

40 Single in the City

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Palm Sunday and Dim Sum.....

My paternal grandparents (Northern Italians) are spinning in their graves as I write this. No huge family get together on Palm Sunday??

As a very young child Palm Sunday was very much a celebrated and special holiday as it was my paternal grandmothers name day. Her name you ask? Palmera, I am sure that went over well on the Italian playgrounds. Did they have playgrounds back then? Not even sure if the woman graduated High School, this is what happens when you are only 1st generation American. The old country is a big secret...Sometimes I wonder what kind of criminals my ancestors may have been that we NEVER talk about why they left home. To this very day even though I do not celebrate the Easter holidays as I did when I was a child it is still a very important day for me.

So what better way to celebrate than with my oldest and dearest friend whom, like myself, loves assorted cuisine and pretty much will eat anything put in front of her that looks tasty. Hence the reason we have been friends for 40+ years. We can always agree on food!

You may ask where does a NYC single girl go for the best Dim Sum in the 5 borough's??? Why Flushing Queens of course!!! You can go to Chinatown in Manhattan but for me the #7 to Main St Flushing is the place to go for Dim Sum and the general feeling that you landed in Hong Kong without needing a passport.

I do have to say we were definitely the minorities in this particular Dim Sum parlor/restaurant. If you are looking for authentic cuisine best that you find a place that you don't understand the language and you can point to the food you want via carts pushed past your table by very obliging Chinese women that speaking only a few words of English. Like beef, pork, vegitable (spelled as pronounced) than the rest is in Chinese. Now my Chinese sucks other than saying thank you in Cantonese and Mandarin that is far as I get. I knew all those trips to HK and China would be useful for something!! I have to say my friend, formerly married to a Chinese American does understand a few more words than I do but still not enough to get us the "Chinese treatment" in the restaurant. As there were only 2 of us in our party we wait to be seated with other small parties to share a banquet table. All of these large Dim Sum restaurants both in the US and in China are set up the same, with huge round tables that seat about 8-10 people as in China and most cultures it is all about food and sharing food. So we shared a table with 3 Chinese Americans that got their plates changed at least once during the time we were there. Than the next people that came to our table when they left were a couple, Chinese/American woman and Caucasian man. They only did one round of Dim Sum, about 6 dishes and got their plates changed for fresh ones (need to keep those sauce puddles under control), versus our 10 dishes + a soda and a pot a jasmine tea not one plate change. The injustice of it all!! If this were Hong Kong our plates would have been changed 3 times. We aren't total guipo's (female foreigners in Chinese)we are proficient with our use of chopsticks. In fact we are better with them than a lot of the Chinese sitting around us. Needless to say we did not get our dishes changed out once. We were almost invisible to the management. The serving ladies however were a joy and did their best to help us choose our tasty tidbits, all those lovely dumplings, turnip cakes, hacked pork ribs (the ones you have to suck the bones clean, Chinese broccoli, pork bun...yummy!

I recommend that EVERYONE experience Dim Sum at least once in their lives. I am actually surprised that this has not caught on with middle America?! It is buffet that comes to the table, can't beat that, you don't even have to leave your seat as that may in fact burn some calories and we wouldn't want that to happen. Who wants anything that looks like exercise to get in the way of consuming copious amounts of food?! I do have to say the more people you get to go with the more plates you can order and the more fun you will have. But I have to say this was a wonderful Palm Sunday brunch of catching up with each others lives, food, live entertainment and remembering my grandmother who would be happy that I had a hearty meal and was enjoying with a good friend. Who said eating out has to be boring, Dim Sum is like a well orchestrated dance that just looks like chaos to those of us on the outside.

and for $38 for 2 people eating out in NYC, we are making this out new monthly "date" place.

Hmmm alas no interesting dates in the past week...oh lets face it folks I have not had a date interesting or just dull since February. I figure spring is around the corner "when all men's fancies turn to love or sex" so I am waiting for the good weather before I take the plunge back into the world wide dating web.

Stay tuned this week (I promise) for an update on what a single girl with no income at the moment does with her time....

40 Single in the City

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Astoria anyone??

Help! I am in Astoria and my accent is coming back! Help help help.

For those of you who do not know, I was born and raised a few short years in Queens New York. As most of America and parts of the world, are very well acquainted with this less than stellar accent that one acquires coming from Queens. Living in the "burbs" of Long Island just made a bad thing worse. With all of that said, it took a VERY long time to lose that rather abrasive accent. Whadareyoutawkinabouwt! I don’t got no accent (hee hee hee).

As I got on the W train from Lexington and 59th street heading into Astoria/Queens I felt that warm feeling of home, the thought of going to a Greek restaurant and having those amazing frappes (iced coffees) was very exciting. It did seem a rather odd place to have a first "meeting" with yet another man to potentially date. This guy was from Long Island and as many of my friends know the only way I go to LI is for holidays with the family, weddings or funerals. After growing up there I can honestly say not a place I am going back to for a "date". Anyway who wants to put that much time, effort and cost into some random guy that you meet off an internet dating site that has as one of its dating type categories "sexual encounters". So we decided we would meet in Queens as a middle ground. From what I am told Astoria has become a little more hipster but not the neighborhood I was in none of the groovy new restaurants or bars that I had been reading about.

Putting all those thoughts aside and listening yet again to my friends to keep an open mind about dating and men I decided to get back on the dating track with “the trainer".

Let’s face it people I like men with good bodies, don't have to be great but I like muscles and I like guys that take the time to work out. If you are flabby and out of shape I am not interested and never will be. Shallow you may say however, if I am busting my ass in the gym 3x/week to feel and look good than I am certainly not hanging on the arm of a guy that is a couch potato or 20 lbs overweight. So I decided to go out with the LI guy with the very thick Queens accent who is a trainer and triathlete. By his picture he had an amazing body and anyone that has that much determination to be a triathlete is someone I want to meet even just for coffee.

"The trainer" recommended Queens as he was originally from there so I thought great he will recommend a good restaurant for drinks or coffee. Not so I schlep out to Astoria Queens to end up sitting in one of those loathsome Starbucks. I try to make it a point not to go to Starbucks but to support my neighborhood coffee shops. Here I am in Astoria in a Starbucks to come face to face with a man that looks hmmm plastic! He had a mouthful of capped teeth that looked exactly like my dad's. Needless to say it was over before it even started. For 2 hours I listened to this man talk about his very very small world. It is true that you know within 3 seconds if you are attracted to someone. I should have left after 20 minutes but the man would not stop talking. He did seem to have a good physique but that is it were it ended for me. After about my third yawn I said I really had to go and he kindly walked me to the subway which of course I told him was completely unnecessary.
Yet another unsuccessful first meeting, I have to be more effective with my phone interview process with these men. If I really paid more attention on the phone I would have never agreed to meet this guy. It is hard for me to reject people. This really was a mercy date because I really do not have the skill to say thank you but no thank you. I guess yet another challenge the universe is putting in front of me to work on.
I have decided to lay off the dating sites for awhile as Spring is coming and I am hoping something will happen organically like it use to when men weren't afraid to ask a woman out. Now it seems not only do we have to take home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, but we have to go out find a man club him over the head and drag him to the cave. Why am I doing this again?? Oh yeah companionship and .....

I will fill you in further on my past on-line dating experiences as one was unbelievable even for me.

40 single in the city

Monday, October 12, 2009

Dumped via Text

Well, here is my first blog posting! Many of my friends have told me that with my dry sense of humor and my general perspective on life I have a gift that should be shared with others.

My take on this whole thing is my life is my life and perhaps you will all see a bit of yourselves in it. Lets face it we have all seen way too many episodes of Sex in the City, life don't got like that here in the Big Apple. Here you will find a day in the life of a 40+ single woman living in NYC. Loving my surroundings, people.....what can i say!!

Today, October 12th , I pick up my phone thinking how nice would it be to have a date this weekend. With that said, low and behold, not one but 3 text messages from the 59 year old guy I have had a few dates with. What is a 59 year old man texting me about?? Telling me that the skiing season is here and that he will not have time for dating. Mind you I am walking down east 69th st in a sweater and thinking what a gorgeous Autumn day there is not a flake of snow in sight....

WOW who knew that 59 year old men dont even have the hmmm how shall i say this, BALLS, to be a gentleman and pick up the phone and say this just isnt working for me. Thank GOD I have a great attitude and started laughing ....THIS IS WHAT I AM DEALING WITH. 59 and cannot pick up the phone and call to dump me.

Yikes thank God I am not 20.
40 and Single in the City